Hope

There is always that moment, that moment when it feels like the world may crash and burn around you, and me, I could not get lucky enough to be left standing. I would be be crashed and burned with it, left helpless with some twisted deformity that would forever remind me of how bad that crash and burn was. But just when I think I am there, just when I think that life could get no worse, or that I could not possibly find one more "thing" to add to my amazing pile of crap to do... Just then, at that exact point when I feel the grasp of control start to slip from my white-knuckled grip, I see it. Right beyond the horizon peeking at me from behind the storm clouds of despair, there it is, that bright ray of hope that just peeks out enough to show a glimmer of the edges.

That tiny ray of hope, could be that cut the oxygen off neck squeeze from my youngest as he says, "I love you with all my heart;" maybe it's the laughter of my daughter while she watches some show on tv that reveals that "almost" teenager in her, or maybe it's that quiet sneak of a smirk that my oldest will give me when he knows he is so aggravating and cute at the same time, or, maybe it's that touch from my husband that after 13 years is still there. It's family and it's home that hold hope. And I know, "with all my heart" as Robby likes to say, that beyond the overwhelming schedules and the overdue bills and the over the top expectations that we place on ourselves, that my family and my home is my hope.

They are the ray of sunshine that peeks at me sometimes just long enough to let me catch my breath and take in a great big sigh of relief, and other times, they let me bask in their full warmth and sunshine for hours on end, whether it's sitting and watching our favorite show together or playing in the snow, or showing me their latest creations that was sure to create some sort of havoc on my house. But whatever it is, that gift of hope comes from them, it comes from the smiles on their faces, the laughter in their hearts and the love that they give me everyday, regardless of whether I'm tired or moody, or running around like the crazed overbooked person I let myself be way too often. They bring me hope. And, I will thank God everyday that I have them to bring me back from my crash and burn nightmares and surround me with love amidst the craziness that is life.