Oops... I took a wrong turn!

Life is busy, always busy. And there are times we stray off on our own, and then all of a sudden I realize that I really did take my own road. Instead of looking for guidance and asking for help, I tried to navigate murky waters and ended up stuck in quicksand and sinking fast... I was just thinking today that there are things that I just "don't know what to do" with... Then I read this blog from the Praise and Coffee site, as I drank my morning coffee today. It is so true, and I have to thank Angie there at Praise and Coffee for writing what it was that I needed to read...

Walking in the Dark

Frantic Morning

Saturday was another wrestling tournament for our team, and it was WAY over in Hillsdale (this is -according to mapquest -1hr and 37 minutes away). I got up early, got my husband's coaching clothes ironed, warmed up some breakfast for my son, and decided I was going back to bed. They were leaving our house at 5:20 am to make it to the school to catch the bus. But I didn't have to leave till 7, therefore, I should have time to sleep for another 45 minutes before this long long day ahead of me...

6:00 am - Get up, make more coffee, get in the shower and start some laundry.
6:20 am - getting out of the shower, two missed calls from the husband... uhoh...
6:21 am - digging through all our football paperwork looking for contact numbers for one of our wrestlers, the little 85lb kid that missed the bus, and the number my husband had didn't work.
6:25 am - found the number, called hubby back
6:30 am - hubby called back, needs me to get keys to the school, open the school and locker room for this kid, and then give the kid a ride to the tournament. Ok... only I AM STILL IN A TOWEL from my shower.
6:31 am - called my dad, to make sure I could get keys to the school.
6:33 am - called the kids dad, who missed the bus, made arrangements to meet him at the school.

So now I am freaking out... Not only am I now almost 15 minutes behind the schedule I had for myself, but I'm still in a towel, and now I have to stop and get keys and then drive 8 miles in the WRONG direction to unlock the school and pick this kid up, and then try to have him to the tournament in time...

So as I'm yelling at Robby (who I had forgotten about till this time) "Get up, Get up, Get dressed... Hurry we've got to go!!" I'm also pulling on my clothes, trying to at least put a little makeup on and pull my hair up, no time to dry and style, calling my friend who was supposed to meet me at my house to let her know plans have changed and now I will be running a tad bit late... and I am mentally cursing out everyone and everything that has thrown my morning into a tailspin, and I haven't even had a cup of coffee yet! I am mad at the kids' dad for not getting him there in time, mad at myself for going back to bed, venting that my husband won't just leave the kid behind (not that I really would even do that - but at the time it seemed like a viable option). And, this is the SECOND time going to this tournament across the state, that I've had to pick up a wrestler who has missed the bus.

7:02 - I'm out the door, calling the dad again and saying I'll be at the school in 10 minutes.
7:03 - getting the keys from my dad
7:05 - called my friend to tell her the new plan, then realized I DIDN'T BRUSH MY TEETH!
7:14 - unlocking the school and locker room
7:19 - on the road to pick up my friend since there's no point in her driving to my house now...
7:32 - picked up friend, and had to ask her to borrow a tooth brush since I forgot that little bit of importance during my morning rush!
7:37 - we are ON THE ROAD! Only 37 minutes behind schedule! Tournament starts at 9am... Cutting it close.

As I finally start to breath, I realize that maybe there was a reason for this whole fiasco. This kid, whose family obviously has needs bigger than mine, and who was so polite and apologetic the entire time, maybe he just needed to not be on the bus that day. Maybe he needed to be at the tournament and I was making a difference in some way. I started to realize that instead of venting and mentally screaming at everyone for ruining my morning, that maybe I should be grateful that I was able to provide safe transportation. I always believe there is a reason for everything. I may not ever know what that reason is, but there was a reason. Maybe it was just another one of God's ways of "thunking" me on the head with a nice little wake up call to show me that life isn't about me and that calm morning cup of coffee. It's about Him and helping others. We are put here for a reason and we have to allow him to show us what those reasons are, whether we ever understand them or not.

At the end of the day, we made it there about 10 minutes late, but the wrestler had a bye first round and didn't miss any matches. He ended up taking a 3rd place, and he had a nice big medal to bring home. The team squeaked out a 1st place, just 8 points over the 2nd place team. This wrestler did make a difference in that aspect. We couldn't have snagged first without him. And most of all, I survived the frantic rush of it all. My son took 1st as well as the team. No one cared that my hair didn't get done, and I learned a lesson from it all... I would say that the frantic rush turned into a really good day!

Down Time

I realized yesterday that my brain does not function when it is not in "rush rush let's go" mode. I had a half hour of down time yesterday. The kids were at practices, husband was at practice, work was done for the day and I didn't have to start my volunteer duty till 5:30. I had 30 minutes before I had to leave the house...

What to do, what to do?? Well I decided that since my sister had just loaned me a new book on her Kindle, so that I could try it out and decide if this ereader concept was for me, that I would read. So I did just that. I sat in complete silence and read for 30 minutes. I was feeling proud of myself for not rushing around and trying to do a quick clean, running to the store, or any of the other little things I could have found to cram into that 30 minutes. So then I packed her Kindle up, and headed into town to work the middle school concession stand, prior to my youngest son's wrestling meet later that night.

I get to town and I'm sitting in the truck listening to the end of the song, because again, I'm NOT RUSHED for a change. Then it HITS me... I forgot EVERYTHING important. My coffee, poured fresh and in a to go mug, sitting on the table, and my son's wrestling bag with everything he needs - shoes, headgear, UNIFORM... ugh! It was all ready. All I had to do was grab it on my way out the door, but NO, I was so relaxed from my 30 minutes of down time that I think the "To-Do" section in my brain froze up from shock of not being used.

So after calling and making sure the other mom could cover for me since I now was again in RUSH mode. I had to drive the 8 miles home, grab the stuff I forgot, drive the 8 miles back into town and then of course, I was almost 20 minutes late. And just when I thought I was doing so good... That is when I realized, that my brain does not know how to operate in non-rush mode. Or maybe non-rush mode is so out of practice that it doesn't know how to operate correctly anymore. I don't know, but feeling proud of myself for relaxing for 30 minutes - which I cannot even remember the last time that happened - was shortly lived as I was soon mad at myself for having to waste the gas to drive home and back, be late, and ruin that good feeling.

So maybe next time I'll just save the reading for my normal, few minutes before bed allotted time, and continue to use those spare 30 minutes to try and check of the remainder of my to do list. I could have - got gas, grabbed a few groceries, folded laundry, maybe scrapbooked a page or at least got a layout started, done abripperx (only takes 15 minutes), ran a few miles, etc... the list goes on. Or, if I want to try enjoying that gift of down time, maybe next time, you know - 5 years from now, when I get that 30 minutes of free time. Maybe I'll remember to sit in the car and read after I've safely loaded everything needed for when my 30 minutes is up!

What Makes You Tick?

Everything in life runs on fuel. Our cars, or gas guzzling SUV's, run on gasoline. Our bodies need energy from food. My laptop needs that electrical outlet or the battery will only last so long. My phone needs a new source of energy as the battery for that doesn't want to last long at all. I NEED that pot of coffee in the morning to get going. We all need that source of energy. But what really drives our lives, what fuels your fire?

As I looked back through  a lot of my old blog posts, on top of reading all the other blogs in my roll, I realized that my desires and goals I have change - constantly. My blog is like ADD on hyper-caffeinated coffee... I've blogged about running, scrapbooking, writing, working, being a mom, being a wife, trying to organize a lot of things (usually unsucessfully), about volunteering and running our youth football league. It all sort of started feeling like there were bits of "me" in a lot of areas, which I don't deny. I do love to do a lot of different stuff. Do I spread myself to thin? Probably. Would I get more scrapbooking done if I quit reading in the evening? Most likely. Would my house be more organized if I gave up volunteering? Definitely. And the list goes on.

But however I decide to focus my energy, I need that fuel, that ambition to conquer the feat at hand. I trained for a 1/2 marathon and survived. I set a goal of scrapbooking 100 double page layouts this year... while also still training for another 1/2 marathon. I have a new job, with more work, but for a much better company. I have three kids in 8 sports combined, and a husband that coaches 2 of them. I am on the boards of two youth football leagues and volunteer for many a middle school concession stand, dance, or field trip... Busy isn't even close to describing our lives at times, but where is that fuel?

How in the world do I keep motivated in so many areas all at one time? Maybe it's the changing scenery, the lack of boredom that allows me to keep going. I don't know what to do when I'm bored, other than read, and I'm not ever bored, because I read in those 5 minutes of down time. My book goes with me everywhere, I squeeze in a few pages while doing the pickup line at school. A few pages while making dinner. Why is it that I feel I must multi task, constantly... I think I may add boredom to my "to do" list... It's a test, just to see if I can sit still for 5 minutes and just be. Just quiet, just alone, just me... Maybe then I'll find what it is that motivates me.

Grandma's Euology

I lost one of the most treasured people in my life this past fall. Grandma Bessie, as she was known to just about everyone, was 93 - almost 94 - when she passed away this last September. I had the honor of trying to speak at her funeral service, which was one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life. She lived with us from the time I was 8 years old. She was my great Grandma, and was she ever "great"... Looking back after a few months, I can see how even in her death, she worked magic in the souls of her family.

Who was Grandma Bessie?

In the early days, she was a care giver: she would leave snacks for after school-homemade pudding in fancy glass bowls or snickers candy bars cut perfectly into portions; then, as we grew older, she would smuggle laundry for certain teenage girls who were supposed todo their own; next, she became daycare provider to our children, and began entertaining a whole other generation with her stories and humor.

She was a teacher; she taught us about history-her history and our own. Most people here have heard her stories of what school lunches were like during the depression, how sleigh rides took them to school in the really bad snow, how to get home from school after the teacher locks you in and leaves you, and how kids really did walk miles to school up hill, in the sun, rain and snow.

We learned about the games they played on the farm, the chores they had, and the family that shared it all. We heard fishing stories, pool hall and gas station stories, as well as war stories, like the time she helped smuggle a puppy to a young German prisoner of war for his birthday. There was the dog wit rabies, the wife with the frying pan, and the big strong husband who had to have his wife gut a deer for him.

She was fun with a great sense of humor. She told jokes, made faces, taught us covered wagon and card games, and played practical jokes - ask the son-in-law who was trapped in the chicken coop... She loved to play canasta, and claimed she never cheated. She was always up for games or adventure.

She was strong - she may have been little and generally quiet - but she was a force to be reckoned with if you crossed her family. Just ask the boyfriend who saw the wrong side of the broom, the grandson who was too stubborn to go to the doctor, or the husband who had one too many drinks.

She was a model of Faith. She faced tragedy, and buried not only her parents and her husband, but her daughter and then her grandchildren, yet she had contant Faith through it all. She rarely had a bad word to say, and when she did you know you deserved it.

She had more stories and life experience than any of us could imagine. She lived through the horse-and-buggy and depression era, working day after day on thefarm. She witnessed the emergence of the car and ran a gas station. She worked in a facotry. She was a wife, a mother, a grandmother, and even a great, and great-great grandmother. She was a source of inspiration for us all. People think that we took care of her, but she was the one who took care of us all these years. When I consider all the role models one could have, I would choose none other than her.

Box of Chocolates

I'm re-using an old blog today. A friend of mine had posted a question on facebook about whether life was really like a box of chocolates, and I was instantly searching through old posts for this one. It was one of my favorites, and as I re-read it, I realized it still applies to me today. I still don't know exactly what it is that I'm searching for, but I'm constantly praying for guidance and hoping that I am at least headed in the right direction. There are many paths in front of me right now, and I'm hoping that the chocolate that I end up with  is a great one!

Life is Like a Box of Chocolates

Life Is Meant To Be Lived...

"Some people measure their lives in pulse rates and sit-ups.
Far better to measure yoursin licks of ice cream,
well-told jokes, mad dashes to be first in the water, belly laughs...

And, when you die, it won't be an erratic shift in your heartrate,
it will be an overdose of mirth, fun poisoning, death by laughter."
Keds Ad

Things happen so quickly in life. I just received a prayer request from my instructor, her little sister has cancer, and it sounds like it has spread rapidly. My cousins just lost their grandmother. Another friend lost his father. On the news you see all the horrors of car wrecks, killings, crimes, etc... And all of a sudden I just want to stop, take a step back...

Life is hard. Life is tough. We work at work, we work at school, we work at staying healthy - being fit and eating right, we work at teaching our kids right from wrong, and we work at making ourselves a better person. But when all of a sudden you realize that tragedy could be around the bend, work seems less important. Life should be lived, and we all have to work, but we all need to take time to work on enjoying the work that we do. Work on enjoying the two minutes that our six year old wants to ramble about pokemon; enjoy the ten minute drive home with our teenagers while you have them secluded in a vehicle and they "must" answer all questions including the too often forgotten "how was your day"; enjoy the few moments of alone time with our husband; and enjoy the beauty in the world around us that we rush past, speed through, ignore, forget and too often take for granted.

Living life means a lot of things to a lot of different people. But me, I want to live my life with no regrets. I don't want to regret not making paper airplanes instead of reading my book; and, I don't want to regret watching the sunrise and set and feeling that loss of "where did this day go?" I want to live my life before some unknown tragedy hits. I don't want to wait until time is too precious. Time is too precious now, we just need to stop and realize it more often. I want to remember the silly, precious, seemingly unimportant moments in life. I want to look back and remember laughing at nothing with the most important people in my life. I want to look back and know that I didn't waste a moment worrying about what to do next, but just took the leap to walk outside and throw a ball around, plant a tree, ride bikes, run through the sprinkler,  pick dandelions, and dance in the kitchen. Those are the briefest, yet most memorable times, and we must take advantage of them when they are given to us.

The easiest sentiment... Live, Laugh, Love. But really, really do it, with all you are go out and Live each moment, Laugh whenever you can, and Love not just your family and friends, but the world and the life that you have been blessed with.  

45 Life Lessons

I've had this email forwarded to me a few different times. I guess this last time I had time to really read it rather than just skim through it. Some of these are so basic and simple but so very true... I had to repost it just because I liked it so much.

Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio
"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most-requested column I've ever written."My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:
1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's,we'd grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come.
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."

Hope

There is always that moment, that moment when it feels like the world may crash and burn around you, and me, I could not get lucky enough to be left standing. I would be be crashed and burned with it, left helpless with some twisted deformity that would forever remind me of how bad that crash and burn was. But just when I think I am there, just when I think that life could get no worse, or that I could not possibly find one more "thing" to add to my amazing pile of crap to do... Just then, at that exact point when I feel the grasp of control start to slip from my white-knuckled grip, I see it. Right beyond the horizon peeking at me from behind the storm clouds of despair, there it is, that bright ray of hope that just peeks out enough to show a glimmer of the edges.

That tiny ray of hope, could be that cut the oxygen off neck squeeze from my youngest as he says, "I love you with all my heart;" maybe it's the laughter of my daughter while she watches some show on tv that reveals that "almost" teenager in her, or maybe it's that quiet sneak of a smirk that my oldest will give me when he knows he is so aggravating and cute at the same time, or, maybe it's that touch from my husband that after 13 years is still there. It's family and it's home that hold hope. And I know, "with all my heart" as Robby likes to say, that beyond the overwhelming schedules and the overdue bills and the over the top expectations that we place on ourselves, that my family and my home is my hope.

They are the ray of sunshine that peeks at me sometimes just long enough to let me catch my breath and take in a great big sigh of relief, and other times, they let me bask in their full warmth and sunshine for hours on end, whether it's sitting and watching our favorite show together or playing in the snow, or showing me their latest creations that was sure to create some sort of havoc on my house. But whatever it is, that gift of hope comes from them, it comes from the smiles on their faces, the laughter in their hearts and the love that they give me everyday, regardless of whether I'm tired or moody, or running around like the crazed overbooked person I let myself be way too often. They bring me hope. And, I will thank God everyday that I have them to bring me back from my crash and burn nightmares and surround me with love amidst the craziness that is life.

Peace

One of my really good friends just lost her sister, Theresa, unexpectedly, and as I was talking with her afterwards, the way her sister left our world and passed into the next was amazing. The strength and peace that she had facing death was nothing short of extraordinary. It made me smile and cry hearing just the few stories that I've heard so far. Theresa's unselfish, caring ways that made her more worried about the strength and faith of her loved ones who had to let her go over her own departure. Her ability to continue to pray for others and worry how others would be.


I have never heard of such peace and acceptance when facing death. No regrets for things left unfinished, no worries about the "hereafter", just pure acceptance that her fate was planned by God and that he was waiting to lead her home. I can only pray that the same peace would be there for everyone, that everyone could have the faith that she displayed. I know it made me take a second look at my faith and my displays of faith. It made me look at my life and my loved ones and wonder if anyone around me could be capable of the faith that she had.


I came home, and re-read the poem that I've had in my Bible since I first lost someone close to me. It's a poem that I received decades ago at a funeral and I've read it a million times since then. I've shared it with so many people that have lost someone they loved, but I've never thought it applied so much to the person I was reading it for than this time. I wish I knew who the author was...

I'M FREE...

Don't grieve for me for now I'm free,

I followed the path God laid for me.

I took his hand when I heard him call,

I turned my back and left it all.

I should not stay another day

To laugh, to love, to work or play.

Tasks left undone must stay that way,

I've found my Peace at the close of day.

If my parting has left a void

Then fill it with remembered joy.

A friendship shared, a laugh, a kiss,

Ah yes, these things I too will miss.

Be not burdened with time of sorrow,

I wish you the sunshine of tomorrow.

My life's been full, I've savored much,

Good friends, good times, a loved ones touch.

Perhaps my time seemed all too brief,

Don't lengthen it now with undue grief.

Lift up your heart and share with me,

God wanted me now, he set me free.

Overdose on Life

I found this old quote (yes in one of my million quote journals that I have written in over the years), I wrote this down when I was a freshman at CMU... tore it out of a magazine and had it on my bulletin board the two years I was up there. Looking back, it seems like I worked out all the time when I was up there. Trina, the best roomie in the whole world was a blast to workout with. I still know buns, thighs and abs of steel by heart what 12 years later... Anyway, the quote... I love this one: "Some people measure their lives in pulse rates and sit-ups. Far better to measure yours in licks of ice cream, well-told jokes, mad dashes to be first in the water, belly laughs. And, when you die, it won't be an erratic shift in your heartrate, it will be an overdose of mirth, fun poisoning, death by laughter." I thought of this tonight after my burning thighs and abs dragged my tired and sweaty body up the stairs… Every few months I get in that "exercise" frame of mind. I love being active and I love a good workout. I love how it actually makes me feel better and actually curbs my appetite. But I also, and maybe it's because I've passed that 30 year mark, realize that no matter how much I work out, it won't change my basic body structure. I will always have "big" thighs and a small waistline to match the small chest on top (thanks dad for that by the way...). I will have the same genes no matter what and no workout will ever change who I am. I will be healthier and I will enjoy all these benefits that a good workout gives me, but I will also sit my somewhat-toned, but not nearly perfect, rear-end on the couch and stuff my mouth with double stuff Oreos and a glass of milk (skim of course...). I will enjoy red wine and dark (very dark) chocolate... I will do all these things, because being healthy is good. But being who I am is even better. And I know, that the good friends I have don't care if I never workout another day in my life as long as I'm healthy and happy. So yes, I enjoyed my workout tonight. And, I'm really hoping since football is done and I have my life back, that I can actually enjoy working out a few nights a week. But, keep the freezer and snack cupboard loaded because root beer floats and double stuff Oreos... you my favorite comfort friends, are in serious danger!! Speaking of which... time for that before bed snack!

Grandpa's Memories

We all know him as Daddy, Grandpa, Pops, Papa and Friend. He had 85 years of family and friends, and he spent his time making more memories than I could ever try to capture on paper. His one daughter spent three hours trying to write down all her memories, and even then, I’m sure she’ll think of memories in the days and weeks and years to come that she didn’t think of in those three hours. We could all sit around a fire pit for hours on end and talk about all the memories we share. They are good memories; some may be sad, some may be humorous, and some are just good heartfelt memories that help us remember who Donald Hill was.

Donald Francis Hill was a son, a brother, a friend, a dad, and a grandfather. He served his country well in WWII as a service member of the US Navy. He also served his community with almost 15 years of service on the Kalamazoo County and Barry County Sheriff’s Departments; he served his family well by using that position on the sheriff’s department to escort a daughter to the hospital with a cut up hand, and giving his wife a ticket, even though she may have been determined that she didn’t quite deserve it, but there was no sweet talking out of that one. He was a farmer, and he was a trucker, and he would take turns taking his children with him for a week or more at a time on the road. He helped his daughter conquer her fear of never driving again, after crashing the same car twice in a row, by making her get in and drive when she was too afraid to do it. He also enlisted the help of his son to cover up the fact when he crashed his own car, so his wife wouldn’t know.

He loved summertime, boating and fishing on the lake, and teaching his kids, grandkids and friends of them all to ski and fish. He would take them fishing and then head to the Circle Inn for breakfast with all the syrup you wanted. Gramps didn’t care if you had a plate of syrup, he’d let you have more. Grandpa also didn’t care if you wanted to fish, but didn’t want to bait your own hook, he’d do it for you. He loved to cook out for the houseful of friends and family that were always there at his house on Gun Lake. He’d stand by the grill with his drink and cigar, or what little nub of the cigar was left, and grill those pork ribs, brats, burgers, or even the teeny tiny one bite fish that his grandson would spend the day catching, and that grandpa would patiently scale and clean. He would take us all out to the island on the pontoon boat, which was loaded to the max with kids, grandkids and the dogs. Spending an entire day at the island and then parking the boat on the lake to watch fireworks on the 4th of July.

He was a good man, who once drove 200 miles for a daughter and his son-in-law, just to build special steps to make getting into the house easier. He once drove, for what seemed like hours, around San Diego on Christmas day with me and my newly enlisted USMC husband just to find a place that was open to make sure we had a Christmas dinner with family. He was a father and grandfather who was always there for his family, he would listen and be there for you, and he accepted us all for who we are. He spoiled his grandchildren and great-grandchildren. There was always plenty of chocolate and candy to be shared by grandpa. Even after he had his stroke, he still helped his great-grandson learn how to walk with him and his walker, and then he taught him how to drive the scooter. He loved to garden, and once he was beyond being able to do the gardening himself, he still loved to supervise and make sure it was done the correct way. He loved his dogs. Buttons, Freckles, Missy, Sammy and Socks, the dogs travelled with him wherever he went. And, he loved to travel. He and Grandma Josie would take their RV and head to their next destination, whether it was off to see his daughter Marrian, or just to Whiskey Creek campground in Michigan near his family.

He was a lot of things to a lot of people. He had special memories that he shared with everyone of us. And, he had a good full life. The best memory is a general one and how I choose to remember him, as being full of fun and laughter, and sharing that laughter with all the people in his life, and with a smile on his face. We love you Grandpa, Daddy, Papa… We will see you again one day.

Laughter

I copied this from an old blog of mine and entered it into a writing contest for a spot on a "Dear Reader" column and actually won! I thought I would repost it here...

"The most wasted of all days is one without laughter." ee Cummings

Lately I tend to get too busy rushing through all the steps of mylife. The movements of going here and there, making this and fixing that, "Hurry comb your hair, brush your teeth, get your shoes on..."and the list goes on. In all this busyness, I sometimes lose sight of what is really important. I get irritable and stressed, and I tend to see those traits rubbing off on those around me.

Yesterday, amidst the rushing around and hurrying to do the littlethings, I was stopped cold in my tracks by...LAUGHTER! While trying to get three kids ready for bed and trying to finish dishes so that I can unwind and go to bed; I hear it--hysterical laughing. Myolder son is "mocking" me (using an overly stern, funny voice) andtelling the youngest "hurry and brush your teeth." Of course, of all funny things in the world, this voice is one my youngest finds hilarious, and of course, his belly laugh is completely contagious. So, my oldest, keeps going, and every time the youngest gets a louder and longer belly laugh.

Laughter begins to spread...my daughter is laughing, my husband is laughing, I think I even hear the goldfish laughing...I try to gain control, which I should have realized was a lost cause once the hilarity had set in, but I try... "come on, it's time for bed..." The only answer I receive is more laughing. A smirk at first, then a smile, next a giggle, and finally a true laugh as I break free from these bonds of time and control and slip back into enjoyment of the little things that life gives me. It's these moments in life, which are brief, too often forgotten and occur over a simple thing--like "lets mock mommy"--that keep me sane. In this world of schedules and deadlines, workloads and volunteer workloads (that become more work than the regular workloads), the light that breaks through the grayness of day to day mundane "stuff" is the laughter. The joy and laughter that my children share with each other and pass on to me is my sanity. Laughter really is the best medicine!

Superwoman...

I always wanted to be in her shoes for one day. Who? Superwoman. I could hop in my invisible jet and take off to another side of the world, take care of business and jet back in time to feed my family a full-course, healthy meal. I could use the super powers to take care of work (regular job 40 hour a week work), housework, and volunteer work in warp speed. I would look fabulous in that little tiny superhero costume and snap together those nifty little bracelets. Yes, I would like to be Superwoman for a day, or two, or three…

But, I’m not her. I’m not capable of using warp speed and my invisible jet. I just have the good reliable minivan that holds all the football league “stuff”, the kids backpacks, extra clothes, jackets, balls, some camping equipment leftover from the summer months in those lovely stow-n-go areas under the floor of my van, lots of miscellaneous paperwork, bills, and altogether “Junk.” And believe me, it is NOT invisible. Any poor person that is stuck riding in the minivan is subject to it. I wish it could be invisible. I wish I could be invisible. When those little hands are begging and pleading for one more snack, or one more video game, just one more… I wish I could disappear and not be the “mean” mom for making them be responsible young kids by eating healthy and going to bed at a normal time (or as close as humanly possible for those nights after practice, dinner, homework, baths and showers, when there isn’t much normal left). But, back to Superwoman, I am not her, nor am I invisible.

So, I will deal with this life of mine, and these kids that I love “more than the whole wide world,” as my youngest says. I will deal with my busy, overly busy, life. How? I’m not sure yet. For me it’s a daily challenge to balance it all. Right now as I type this I am “multitasking,” which means, typing, pushing play on the DVD player, checking homework, making dinner, sending out football emails, answering my phone, and listening to music, because I cannot multitask without music. As I finish this blog, I look at the clock and realize I started it about 2 1/2 hours ago. I deal and cope and as they say, I’m alive and still kickin’ and haven’t given up on it yet. Being like Superwoman would be nice and like a little vacation from it all. But knowing I am not superwoman just shows me that life isn't about super powers, It’s about coping, or the lack of coping sometimes.

Life is this series of non-super moments that teach me how to juggle and balance. They teach me about taking a deep breathe when I close my eyes and hope that invisible jet appears, then when I open them and see not a jet, but the spilled dinner plate on my floor that the youngest managed to drop and get on every square inch of surface area in my kitchen (rice and corn can sure fly when bounced off a plate on wood floors). So I will deal. I'll clean up that dinner plate.. since I can't leave the computer and go to the rest of the house without walking over it. And, I will yell at the kids to stop fighting because my head is pounding and I will go to bed and dream of that invisible jet to carry me away!

50 Loves in my Life...

I LOVE LIFE. There may be regrets, but I choose to enjoy life. I choose to be happy. I choose to move forward and to keep dreaming... I LOVE my children, my family and my friends... I Love photos... I Love being active and having my health... I LOVE TO WRITE AND CREATE... I Love to be inspired and to inspire...I LOVE to learn...I Love a cool breeze after the storm and I Love the smell of rain and watching thunderstorms... I Love flowers in the spring... I Love snow in the winter while enjoying a nice hot mocha... I Love the hot sun in summer and sand between my toes... I Love lemonade and ice tea, diet coke and rum... I Love watching the ocean... I Love to read and curl up with a really good book... I LOVE ALL THINGS ROMANTIC... I Love being touched and holding hands... I LOVE long lingering kisses...I even Love a Good Cry after a nice sad, sappy love story... I Love a good lazy weekend vegging and watching tv... I Love Seinfeld re-runs... I LOVE all kinds of HUMOR and people that make me Laugh... I LOVE TO LAUGH, I Love to watch people laugh, make people laugh, listen to laughter (this is after all the BEST sound in the whole world)... I Love to make people smile... I Love a long conversation with an old friend... I Love a short conversation with a new friend... I Love being near my family... I Love taking afternoon breaks for coffee and a brownie... I LOVE listening to music - any and ALL music... I Love travelling and seeing new things... I LOVE enjoying nature... I Love taking drives to nowhere in particular in no particular hurry... I Love laying in bed and dreaming sweet dreams... I LOVE comforting a crying child... I Love being comforted... I Love dancing... I Love girls night out... I LOVE to sing (even though I don't let anyone hear me)...I Love to play the piano (even though its been awhile)...I Love that "top of the world" feeling you get on a really good day... I Love being able to wonder if I can stop at only 50 things that I love about life... I LOVE listenting to my 90 year old grandmother tell her stories from the early 1900's... I Love listening to my children tell stories about now...I Love listening to my dad tell the same stories to my kids that he used to tell me.. I Love looking back at my life and knowing the mistakes and learning from them - even though it hurts sometimes...I Love a slow dance... I Love to dream about the future and how my life may change...or stay the same... I LOVE the early morning quiet in the house with a cup of coffee... I Love my job (yes I really do...)and, I LOVE watching that 80 yr old couple dance the night away amidst all the "young" people and wonder if I'll be that young at heart... I can only hope to have that love for life that that couple has... What are the 50 Loves of your life?