Down Time

I realized yesterday that my brain does not function when it is not in "rush rush let's go" mode. I had a half hour of down time yesterday. The kids were at practices, husband was at practice, work was done for the day and I didn't have to start my volunteer duty till 5:30. I had 30 minutes before I had to leave the house...

What to do, what to do?? Well I decided that since my sister had just loaned me a new book on her Kindle, so that I could try it out and decide if this ereader concept was for me, that I would read. So I did just that. I sat in complete silence and read for 30 minutes. I was feeling proud of myself for not rushing around and trying to do a quick clean, running to the store, or any of the other little things I could have found to cram into that 30 minutes. So then I packed her Kindle up, and headed into town to work the middle school concession stand, prior to my youngest son's wrestling meet later that night.

I get to town and I'm sitting in the truck listening to the end of the song, because again, I'm NOT RUSHED for a change. Then it HITS me... I forgot EVERYTHING important. My coffee, poured fresh and in a to go mug, sitting on the table, and my son's wrestling bag with everything he needs - shoes, headgear, UNIFORM... ugh! It was all ready. All I had to do was grab it on my way out the door, but NO, I was so relaxed from my 30 minutes of down time that I think the "To-Do" section in my brain froze up from shock of not being used.

So after calling and making sure the other mom could cover for me since I now was again in RUSH mode. I had to drive the 8 miles home, grab the stuff I forgot, drive the 8 miles back into town and then of course, I was almost 20 minutes late. And just when I thought I was doing so good... That is when I realized, that my brain does not know how to operate in non-rush mode. Or maybe non-rush mode is so out of practice that it doesn't know how to operate correctly anymore. I don't know, but feeling proud of myself for relaxing for 30 minutes - which I cannot even remember the last time that happened - was shortly lived as I was soon mad at myself for having to waste the gas to drive home and back, be late, and ruin that good feeling.

So maybe next time I'll just save the reading for my normal, few minutes before bed allotted time, and continue to use those spare 30 minutes to try and check of the remainder of my to do list. I could have - got gas, grabbed a few groceries, folded laundry, maybe scrapbooked a page or at least got a layout started, done abripperx (only takes 15 minutes), ran a few miles, etc... the list goes on. Or, if I want to try enjoying that gift of down time, maybe next time, you know - 5 years from now, when I get that 30 minutes of free time. Maybe I'll remember to sit in the car and read after I've safely loaded everything needed for when my 30 minutes is up!