Hope

"Once you choose Hope, anything's possible."

~Christopher Reeve~

Hope: (n) the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best; (v) to look forward to with desire and reasonable confidence...

Where would we be without Hope? I think I would be lost. Lost in my dark daydreams and fearing for the worse. I would worry too much, pray too little. I would fret and fear and fill my days with anxiety, and not see past the now to tomorrow's possibilities.

I am a "cup half full" person, and I don't like being pessimistic. I could not survive without hope. Hope for my children's future; Hope for the sick and injured; Hope that I will make it past the daily "junk" that wants to bring me down.

What is hard is to see the lack of Hope in those around us. Facebook posts full of mood shattering statements that reflect the worry, sorrow and despair of the world around us. I realized today, that there are many kids that already show no signs of Hope. How is it that someone so young has given up Hope already, that they can't see past the todays and into tomorrow?

I "Hope" that in all my parenting skills that if I can't make a perfect kid, that I at least instill Hope into them. That they will be able to believe in themselves, in others and in general in the goodness of the world around them. I "Hope" that they will be able to see past the dark days, evil people and horrors of society, to see that underneath it all is goodness waiting to be had. We all have a choice, do you hold "Hope" for your tomorrows, or have you given up?

When the world says, "Give Up," Hope whispers, "Try it one more time..."

Box of Chocolates

I'm re-using an old blog today. A friend of mine had posted a question on facebook about whether life was really like a box of chocolates, and I was instantly searching through old posts for this one. It was one of my favorites, and as I re-read it, I realized it still applies to me today. I still don't know exactly what it is that I'm searching for, but I'm constantly praying for guidance and hoping that I am at least headed in the right direction. There are many paths in front of me right now, and I'm hoping that the chocolate that I end up with  is a great one!

Life is Like a Box of Chocolates

Reorganizing Goals

I decided this week that I needed to reorganize, postpone, and/or simply just change some of the goals and activities that I have. I want to run. I promised my sister to train for a half marathon, and I will. But simply put, between work, kids, school, trying to put in that 3 -5 days of workouts has been a challenge in itself. I can get the 2 days in, but I want to make sure I'm really really ready for this first attempt at 13.1 miles. I don't want my sister or anyone else to have to drag me over that finish line!

Work will be "done" the end of April, wrestling will be done in mid-March, and school will be done in June. What in the world will I do with *gasp* freetime?! The thought itself is scary in itself... I know I will run, that's for sure! Back to the changing of my goals and plans...

I have decided against the Flying Pig Marathon in Cincinatti on May 2nd, and pushed the 1/2 marathon back until June 6th. I get 10 full weeks after wrestling is done to focus on training, and a whole month of work being done to focus even harder. I will still be doing a 10k in April, but while I might not be in top condition, I know I can at least finish that one without doing to much extra training right now. Then we can also focus on swimming twice a week to get back into swim shape for the Sprint-Tri in August. Now that I know I can survive the swim, the goal is to get out of the water in under 13 minutes this year, get a better bike, and work on hills for that first 1/2 mile uphill run after getting off the bike (grueling torture getting off a bike and running at all, much less UP HILL). I'm sure my sister will come up with some form of training/punishment to get me in shape for this! Then, depending on what comes about after the job is finished... we talked about taking a short sisterly weekend to Arizona during the winter months to run a race down there. Trying to talk my other sis (the non-runner) into training with us as well - she about died laughing at the mention of it though!

On top of that, which really is the "easy" portion of my life right now - running is the enjoyable, me time.. I am making myself focus focus focus on getting my school work done. Four classes to go and I will be finished! And then there is writing, my ultimate goal, that I want to go after right now, but reality tells me I need to finish school and work to have time to actually focus on it... So patience, my dear self, patience...

For now, I will hammer away at a job that is driving me crazy, yet also my saving grace at the same time. Spend my writing moments, writing job assignments for Human Resource Management classes (ugh...), and visualize what it is I will do when I cross that finish line in June after my first full 13.1 miles!

Good Writing...

"Good writing is always about things that are important to you,

things that are scary to you, things that eat you up.

But the writing is a way of not allowing those

things to destroy you."

~John Edgar Wideman~

Any thoughts on freelancing? I've been doing some research, and although my plate is "full" right now between work and school and life in general.... I'm thinking in my upcoming unemployment that this may be another route to explore...

http://www.aboutfreelancewriting.com/

Motivational Quotes

"Motivation is a fire from within.

If someone else tries to light that fire under you,

chances are it will burn very briefly."

~Stephen Covey~

"Your biggest challenge isn't someone else.
It's the ache in your lungs

and the burning in your legs,
and the voice inside you that yells 'CAN'T',

but you don't listen.

You just push harder.

And then you hear the voice whisper, 'can'.

And you discover that the person you thought you were
is no match for the one you really are."

~unknown~

Just had to share these two quotes.... Between trying to be motivated at work (to a job I'm losing in 90 days), at school (only 4 classes left), in the gym (only on week two of that 1/2 marathon training), and at home after all of the above (when I just want to sleep)... I found these two quotes highly inspirational this week. I can't do all of the above for my family and friends, whether they will reap the benefits of them or not, it has to be done for me, and by me, and for reasons that I find acceptable for doing it all.

Same with anything we take on in life. It's nice to try something that someone else thinks you would like, but it's fabulous to do something new that brings you that inspirational spark, that moment that says "AH-HAH!!" Because when that moment hits you, and it will at some point, it becomes crystal clear, and it gives you that afterburn, kick in the bootie, motivational spur in the rear that you needed. You don't need someone else to tell you what you should do, you need the voice in your head to tell you "this is what I want to do..."

Running a marathon may seem to have no direct "benefit" to my children. There are times that I begin to wonder if my time training is taking away valuable time with my family, but on the other hand. If running makes me happy (and believe it or not I've found that it has.... ), brings a settling of nerves and stress, and also boosts my healthy meter, well isn't that beneficial to my kids in the long run? Of course it is, but doing it for them doesn't get me going. Yes I want them to see that you can do ANYTHING you put your mind to, but I want them to see that (as the old football quote goes), you "don't chase your dreams, you run 'em down and tackle them!"

You go after what you want and desire in life, if it drives you, if it brings out something in you that makes you a better person, if it just simply makes you happy... you go after it. You embrace it with both hands and hang on for dear life, because the most wonderfully inspiring loves that I have, aren't an easy walk in the park to hang on to. The wonderfully inspiring things are the ones that you shackle yourself to, brace yourself, and hold on for dear life, because it's going to be a bumpy ride. But I have definitely found that that ride is worth every gut sinking, heart wrenching, nerve shattering moment.

So I am embracing my self motivation. I am embracing that "can do" spirit that I know is in me. I will set the alarm a little early, go to bed a little late, and drink a couple extra ( three, five, maybe ten... ) cups of coffee, and I will hang on to all of my goals. I will accomplish what I set my mind to. Even if means giving my goals a more flexible "finish line," and a plan that is definitely written in pencil with an eraser in hand. But keeping the goals, regardless of any variations, is what I intend to do. Besides, aren't variations and flexibility part of the fun?

Enough of the self-motivational speech... Time to get up off the couch, run a few miles, do some more laundry, finish up work, make dinner, and visit with friends, all part of my plan of course...

Step Two: More Info and Sanity...

Finding information on writing and getting published is definitely not hard in this day and age of overwhelming technology. There is more information out there than I can even begin to process, or have the time to process. I could sit here for hours and read and read and find more and more information, and then whammo, my friend Denise (see her blog Life With Four Boys), sends me an amazing blog by Michael Hyatt, CEO of Thomas Nelson Publishers, and it has even more information. What I LOVE about this blog, was the post she sent me... http://michaelhyatt.com/2010/01/six-keys-to-achieving-big-goals.html (Mr Hyatt's blog hit home by touching on - doing hard things, running a half marathon (which I have committed to do this year with my sister), and writing (my current passion and stressor) all of which have been in my blog and on my mind as of recently).

So besides searching for information, I realized that once people know what you want, they will also help you find information that you need. They will also send you that very needed word of encouragement just when you think you've jumped from normalcy into the back of a wagon headed to Crazy Town with a quick stop in Never-Neverland. I have to thank my good friends Cheryl and Kari for making me realize I am NOT CRAZY....

I think my next step, thanks again Denise, is going to be signing up for a writer's conference. However, I do have to share that Denise told me to take copy of my book and business cards, and of course my response to her is "what business cards?" The idea absolutely terrified and horrified me to my very bones... I'm seriously supposed to have a business card (not sure why that scared me more than the BOOK)? I think I am in way over my head and buried in the deepest depths of the quicksands of overachieving... I told Denise I would make up some business cards alright, and they are going to say:

Valerie Slaughter

Unpublished with Big Dreams

Baby Steps...

So my first step on this journey of figuring out if a writer I may someday be, is doing a little bit of research. I've been reading my online friend, Cheryl Pickett's blog: http://publishinganswers.blogspot.com and I have found some very helpful information. If you are interested in all at writing or publishing, she has a lot of answers and info!

Since my true passion has always been children's literature, I loved this quote, which I found on her blog...

"No book is worth reading at the age of 10 which is not equally & often far more worth reading at age 50 & beyond"— C.S. Lewis

I would agree with this quote, as most of my favorite books, the books I can quote and remember, are children's books. Maybe that is just because after having three kids that I've read a few of them hundreds of times each, but nonetheless, they are memorable. And part of me wishes I had little babies to keep reading them too. Remember "Love You Forever"... my oldest loved that book, and we used to read it ALL the time, and I read it to the other two kids as well, but now, who do I read a book to about a mother climbing into her grown son's window and rocking him to sleep?

I also found the below link, which I did remember most of the information from a class in children's literature that I took at WMU "fourscore and seven years ago"... or something like that, maybe eon's ago would be better, simply said a LONG time ago, when I thought for sure I'd be writing for a living, I had a class... Anyway, it was good to reread a lot of the information on the facts of the actual book construction itself of a children's book. http://editorialanonymous.blogspot.com/2008/10/basic-book-construction.html

A better question, why am I blogging this stuff? Well, for me, I am a very unorganized individual. Yes, I admit, that I have never, ever in my life been able to stay on an organized "plan" for anything. I start books, and journals, planners, etc... but unless I hold myself accountable through some other means, it all just disappears. Those planners become lost beneath a pile of clutter, usually "stuff" that needs to be added to the planner, the planner then ceases to have a pen touch it's fine surface after a few weeks and remains blank for the remainder of the year... Bad, I know. Very, very bad... Like running, I have my sister to make me accountable. I tell her I want to run, she sends me a training plan, and she holds me too it. So for writing, well, I'm trying to be organized and maybe by blogging the links I find, it will help to at least be able to find them in the future!

So there they are, my baby steps into the grand adventure of figuring out what I want to be when I grow up....

Do Hard Things...

My mom got my oldest son this book, "Do Hard Things" by Alex and Brett Harris, twin brothers and teenagers. They wrote this book based on their blog http://www.therebelution.com/. The rebelution is "teens rebelling against the low expectations of the world and doing the 'hard' things." I skimmed thru the book and really just read the first two chapters before handing it over to my daughter to read, but besides being good inspiration for teens, this book could be a good challenge for us all.

They bring up the point that most kids/teens are considered "good" kids/teens because they don't do the bad things. Because the don't drink, don't do drugs, don't get in trouble, etc... But shouldn't they be considered good for the things that they do, do... Because they volunteer, or help at church, or get good grades, etc... Don't we want to challenge our kids to be better by doing these "hard" and "good" things, and not by just telling them that you are good by just staying out of trouble?

It is such a simple concept, but so true. And really, applicable to all of us. Do I want to be a good parent because I don't beat and neglect my children, or do I want to be a good parent because I love and support my children. There is really a huge difference between the two, but in the world's view, both can and are considered "good".

This book challenges it's readers (mostly teens) to go beyond and to go further and to strive to do the hard things that society assumes is beyond their reach. Who says that a teenager can't raise money for a worthy cause? If somebody were to ask you, you probably would say it's possible, but why isn't it expected? Why don't we push our children to explore volunteerism and community outreach as teens, instead of being content that they are at home on facebook, but staying out of trouble.

So this is my plug, my little platform to shout from for tonight. GET THE BOOK! CHALLENGE YOUR KIDS! Make them believe that they are capable of things that they never would have thought of, that you never would have thought of. These are our future leaders, and we should expect the best from them, and in return, expect the best from yourselves.

Now go out and do something 'hard,' push yourself out of your ordinary boundaries, and stretch your abilities to your wildest imaginings!

A Box of Chocolates

"My mama always said 'Life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.'" Forrest Gump sums life up pretty well, you never know what's around that next corner, over that next hill, or just on the other side of your own front door, or maybe standing over your shoulder and breathing down your neck - it could be the loving hubby or the monsters from your dreams coming to take you back to fantasy land... I am the absolute proof that just when you think you have a plan someone else shows you a different plan. I have almost given up planning altogether because lately they don't seem to pan out anyway.


So back to Forrest and my box of chocolate... Unfortunately, I'm a pretty picky "chocolate" person. I love it, but only those certain few pieces of it really grab my attention/appetite. Dark chocolate for instance, and not just all dark chocolate, but the 65% cocao pieces... almost as much antioxidants per serving as a bowl full of blueberries! So, anyway, back to the "box," in my pickiness for the chocolate in my life, it seems that I have poked my nail into every piece in the box and I still can't "find" that plan that I had.

Plans that we set for ourselves, like "debt free in 5 years" yeah, that chocolate did not only miss getting put in my box but I think it grew feet and ran as far from me as the little milky legs could carry it. Or, how about the plan to have written a children's book... yeah, I found that chocolate and every time I try to take a bite out of it, I choke on it and set it back in the box for another day. Then there all the little plans, dreams, "to-dos" on my list of chocolates to try... it seems like I reach for that rasberry creme chocolate and come up with a vanilla nut carmel that is shocking when you bite into and get some unexpected, yet still yummy, flavor, but that new and exciting flavor totally takes you of course and again, your plan is left by the wayside.

You could say that I've been looking for that perfect dark chocolate, that is pure and good, and coats your tongue with bittersweet smoothness, and a hint of berries... but, i keep grabbing something with nuts that just adds to the craziness in my life, and crazy it is. Not as crazy as some, or maybe just as crazy, just a different type of crazy. Like my chocolates are filled with almonds and maybe yours are filled with pecans... and then there is the carmel, the carmel that sticks to your fingers and leaves a little trail of goo on your chin. The carmel that sticks to you and won't let go, it's so sweet and tantalizing, but soooo off course, but it's so sticky that you just can't let go and get back on track.

So yes, my life is like a box of chocolates. I'll keep looking for that dreamy piece of perfection, and I'll keep that plan to find it, but I know enough to not close my eyes and savor the expected flavor before actually biting into it, beacuse someone out there is looking down at me and waiting to see the shocked look on my face when I bite into yet another carmel nut concoction instead of the creamy raspberry that I wanted. And when I do give that shocked expression after biting into that "chocolate" that wasn't the one I had planned, His heavenly sense of humor will get a little enjoyment of seeing me realize that it's not my box of chocolates after all. It's a great big box of chocolates that He is holding open for me. He actually even has one of those neat little "maps" that shows you which piece of chocolate is the one you are looking for, my problem is with all my planning, I forget to read His map, and instead I try to poke around and find my own perfect flavor. One day I'll find that chocolate I've been looking for and realize it was right in front of me all along.

Laughter

I copied this from an old blog of mine and entered it into a writing contest for a spot on a "Dear Reader" column and actually won! I thought I would repost it here...

"The most wasted of all days is one without laughter." ee Cummings

Lately I tend to get too busy rushing through all the steps of mylife. The movements of going here and there, making this and fixing that, "Hurry comb your hair, brush your teeth, get your shoes on..."and the list goes on. In all this busyness, I sometimes lose sight of what is really important. I get irritable and stressed, and I tend to see those traits rubbing off on those around me.

Yesterday, amidst the rushing around and hurrying to do the littlethings, I was stopped cold in my tracks by...LAUGHTER! While trying to get three kids ready for bed and trying to finish dishes so that I can unwind and go to bed; I hear it--hysterical laughing. Myolder son is "mocking" me (using an overly stern, funny voice) andtelling the youngest "hurry and brush your teeth." Of course, of all funny things in the world, this voice is one my youngest finds hilarious, and of course, his belly laugh is completely contagious. So, my oldest, keeps going, and every time the youngest gets a louder and longer belly laugh.

Laughter begins to spread...my daughter is laughing, my husband is laughing, I think I even hear the goldfish laughing...I try to gain control, which I should have realized was a lost cause once the hilarity had set in, but I try... "come on, it's time for bed..." The only answer I receive is more laughing. A smirk at first, then a smile, next a giggle, and finally a true laugh as I break free from these bonds of time and control and slip back into enjoyment of the little things that life gives me. It's these moments in life, which are brief, too often forgotten and occur over a simple thing--like "lets mock mommy"--that keep me sane. In this world of schedules and deadlines, workloads and volunteer workloads (that become more work than the regular workloads), the light that breaks through the grayness of day to day mundane "stuff" is the laughter. The joy and laughter that my children share with each other and pass on to me is my sanity. Laughter really is the best medicine!