That's the way I feel right now. I just realized that something I had always dreamed of is so close that it is just outside the bounds of my reach, and that I can achieve that dream. It is right there, taunting me, looking at me and smiling that look I remember giving my sisters when I was saying, "ha, got it and you almost had it, but not quite...." Not that I would tease them in such a way, well not all the time. They still love me.
But the dream, it's RIGHT there. It's so close and I get so wound up in anticipation and desire that I don't want to be patient and do the research and do all the "right things..." I just want to reach out and snatch it up and carry it off like a stolen candy bar from the 7-11 store, not that I ever stole a candy bar, I do have values, but there are definitely days that I know what stealing a piece of chocolate could do to the emotions.
How is it that all I ever wanted is there? It's looking at me and taunting me to see if I have the courage, the guts, the desire to research and get the right "know how" to take hold of it. It's desirable and excruciating all at the same time.
Other people have done it. So, I know it's not beyond the means of humankind. But I can't even describe the chill running down my spine as I think about it. As I look and see that it is so close, I realize all the dreaming could be reality. All the dreaming may really be more than just what they seemed. And those chills, they grab a hold of my spine and the nerves that tense up and down my back and my shoulders and they control my hands as I type. I have never typed so fast in my life (thank God for spell check). And I blink, and I look again, and it's still there... I just have never had that feeling, that moment where you just have to take a deep breath, focus, and believe....
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