Truth

At the end of the day, we know the truth as it is reflected in what we see around us and what happens to us. It may be Karma, it may be paying it forward, or simply and truly that God is just and answers prayers, whatever you believe, at the end of the day, truth is truth, and we are who we are, that person we are alone with at the end of the day is our true self, and that is when we see the truth, do you like yours?

Is your true self all that you can be? Is the person in the mirror at the end of the day someone who you can look in the eye? I can. I know in my heart and soul that I love, I care and sometimes maybe too much, but as honestly as I can. I offer forgiveness to all, friendship to many, and love to those that are capable and willing to give it in return, and to some who may not.I may not like certain individuals and the negative traits that they harbor, but I'm capable of looking past those and finding hope for the person they could be. At the end of the day, I know who I am, and what I've offered to others, and I can look myself in the eye, and know that I am a good person, who has raised good kids, has a good husband, and loves God and the world around me.

I know my truth. I know my core values - love, faith, happiness, strength, integrity, community, creativity... I know what makes me - me. I wish everyone the same love for life, love for others, and love for themselves. The world would be a much better place if everyone could find their flaws (I know my flaws as well - accepting them as part of my truth) face their flaws, and move forward with life.

Box of Chocolates

I'm re-using an old blog today. A friend of mine had posted a question on facebook about whether life was really like a box of chocolates, and I was instantly searching through old posts for this one. It was one of my favorites, and as I re-read it, I realized it still applies to me today. I still don't know exactly what it is that I'm searching for, but I'm constantly praying for guidance and hoping that I am at least headed in the right direction. There are many paths in front of me right now, and I'm hoping that the chocolate that I end up with  is a great one!

Life is Like a Box of Chocolates

What I Learned at My First Half Marathon

So I did it! I finished my first half marathon, and was almost dead on to the time that I wanted to be at. I had set a series of goals for myself and I hit the top three. First of, I wanted to finish on my own two feet. My sister and I had seen a t-shirt at the running expo that said, "If found on ground, please drag across the finish line." I didn't want that to be me! Although I made my sister promise to drag or roll me across just in case... Secondly, I wanted to be able to RUN the entire 13.1 miles - and I DID! We didn't stop to walk at all, we didn't stop to stretch or to take a potty break. We ran the entire course, and the first 8 almost 9 miles is all UPHILL! Finally, my time goal was to finish at a 10 minute pace for my first one, which would be a time of 2 hours and 11 minutes. Well, we finished at a 10:02 pace, for a time of 2 hours, 11 minutes and 19 seconds. I consider it goal achieved. I think there is a 30 second grace period on this... (new rule of mine).

So, for the next one, I'm hoping to be closer to 2 hours 5 minutes or less... Now, I just have to figure out which one that will be. All in all, the race was fun. It was a little scary at first. Cincinnati was in the midst of THUNDERSTORMS! My brother in law pointed out that I can now call my self a true runner since I've finally ran in the rain. My sister was nice enough to follow that up with, not only did you run in the rain, you PAID to run in the rain... It rained the entire time. It did let up after the first few miles and it wasn't storming and coming down quite as hard. By the 5th or 6th mile, I was sweating so bad (it was probably 67 degreees with 95% humidity at that point) that the rain and the puddles felt heavenly!

Anyway, here is my list that was going thru my head that first night after we got home, and what it was I had learned from the whole experience. So here's my Top 20!

20. I'm sooo looking forward to this thing called "Recovery Week",
19. That there should also be a "Recovery Sleep" period as well ... A mandatory 12 - 15 hours would be a good start;
18. That icing and ibuprofen are part of the prize, and should be included in the post-race handouts;
17. Even 14 hours after the start time, that one's endorphin levels are still at an all time high and fighting with the bodies need for that "recovery sleep;"
16. Those endorphin levels would be great blog stimulants, if I wasn't too sore to get out of bed and get the computer;
15. Only crazy people would pay to run in a thunderstorm, across two very large steel bridges...
14. That I am one of those crazy people;
13. Wet hills are VERY slippery, and man hole covers are worse, but the yellow lines in the road were the sneaky little slippery spots on the course;
12. I really wish sometimes that I had the freedom to urinate like a guy... those lucky dogs that we spotted lined up in the bushes...
11. I can drink a WHOLE LOT (about 60 oz) of gatorade and water within 2 minutes of crossing the finish line, without feeling sick...
10. I can simultaneously hold 2 bottles of water, hold the running blanket around me, while devouring 2 little bowls of pineapple by pouring them down my throat, and reach for a donut at the same time...
9. While attempting previous feat, I did not care that I yell at my kids for eating like heathens...
8. The pain in my foot was thoroughly outweighed by the sight of food;
7. That soggy feet take a long time to "de-prune" after a couple of hours in wet socks and shoes;
6. Noticing blood soaked the back of my shoe was a source of pride, because I hadn't even noticed the sore that developed on my heel...
5. In all seriousness now, making it the last two miles through the foot pain was totally motivated by my sister and the runners around me, but that it was MY own inner voice telling me "don't stop now;"
4. That when you are exhausted and fighting pain on mile 12, that giving high fives to a bunch of kids who are cheering you on, is an incredible sense of motivation;
3. It's heavenly to hear your six year old say, "Dad, did you see mom's medal? It's awesome..." and then have that six year old ask you, "Mom, are you going to hang this up in your room?"
2. Obtaining goals is awesome, but I'm already looking for another one to run, so that I can beat my time...
1. and that (#2) means I'm hooked - Yes, world, I'm a runner now!

The Battle of the Thin Mints

It appears that I may have been a bit overzealous this year in the Girl Scout cookie ordering department... Somehow, through three separate clever sales girls, I am now the owner of 4 boxes of thin mints, 1 box of peanut butter tag-a-longs, 2 boxes of the new cranberry thank you berry munch, and (get this) 8, yes EIGHT, boxes of Samoas. I have to stock up on the Samoas (the carmel, chocolate, coconut ones...) because there are only like 15 cookies in a box, and those are the favorites of the two main cookie eaters in this house (my hubby and the oldest son).

So now, here I sit, surrounded - literally they are lining up in circles around me waiting to attack - by Girl Scout cookies. And me, well being race week, I've been avoiding all the extra sweets and sugars and stocking my body up on good carbs and protein for race day fuel, but I'm surrounded by cookies! I had three thin mints on Monday night, and nothing since then. Part of me is grateful, hoping maybe they'll be gone after my race is over on Sunday, but not even my bottomless-pit kids can eat 15 boxes of cookies in a weeks time. The other part of me is thinking if I can avoid them for a week, I should be able to avoid them until they are gone. But then the last part of me, the weakest part, wants a darn cookie. The frozen thin mints taste soooo good with a fresh cup of coffee.

Temptation and resistance, I never thought this would become the hardest part of my marathon training! Right now, I'm blogging to help resist the urge to eat a few with the pot of coffee that I'm brewing. Lunch instead will be turkey sandwich and cottage cheese, please... But, I think I'm going to go for my quick two mile easy run first, just to make sure I have my priorities in order. Eat to fuel the run. Next week I can go back to my normal motto... Run = Eating whatever the He!! I want! Besides if I am burning approximately 1300 to 1600 calories on race day, maybe I'll just pack a box of thin mints as my after race reward! I wonder how many thin mints equals 1300 calories....

Crossing off the Days

Only 5 days until my first 1/2 marathon at the Flying Pig in Cincinnati! I received my confirmation email and bib number - 17686. I'm so excited it's crazy! I never, ever thought that running 13.1 miles would do anything other than make me say "he!! NO!" But here I am, five days out and obsessed with that 13.1 miles that is waiting for me. My nerves are still on edge, although I do think I've brought them down a few notches. My sister keeps giving me pointers, and I've been reading reports of some people that finished the Borgess 1/2 this past weekend. Where there's a will there's a way, right?

I did miss my last long run before the Pig this past weekend though. I had planned it for Sunday as Saturdays are full of soccer games for us, and then on Sunday it stormed for most of the day. I did get a little indoor core workout in, but not my last long run. Oh well... if I wasn't ready before that run, then it's kind of too late anyway! I did run a good 5 miles this morning a t 9 minute pace, and will finish up another couple short and sweet runs before the end of the week.

My new worry is the race week diet! I'm trying to follow one that I found online, but this "dieting" thing is all new to me! Oh well, if nothing else, I'll stick to eating "healthy" all week, and just filling up on some good old-fashioned pasta the two days before. Not going to worry... my new motto for the week. I'm just going to keep looking forward, and in doing so, I'm going to enjoy contemplating the next decision before me. The deadline for the early discounted registration for the GR Marathon in October, is May 15th. My sister is running the full marathon at that one, and she thinks I can be ready, too. I have a couple weeks after finishing the Pig, to evaluate my body's reaction to 13.1 miles to see if doubling that is something I want to do. Or, do I want to keep training for 1/2's (if I find it as enjoyable as my enthusiasm leads me to believe that I will - craziness again that 13.1 miles is sounding enjoyable). I think I've gone over the edge!

Ah well. If looking forward to 13.1 miles means that I am really a "runner", then so be it. I've definitely been called worse things in my life. However, I do think I owe my sister an apology for telling her she must be crazy when she started running her first marathons!

The World of Middle School Track

This week has been fun for me. I've entered the world of middle school track meets! Since I am a "new" runner, I obviously wasn't a track star in school. Only ran one year (8th grade), as I preferred sports like volleyball and softball that required very little running. I went into this new season after hearing all the warnings about middle school track; such as comments like, "it's just track," "it's a social hour," or even better, "it's a waste of time." I have watched my kids in all kinds of sports, as they have all been blessed with that athletic gene, and on top if it, that competitive gene as well. So for my son, 7th grade track is not about social hour, as he doesn't do much, especially not a sport, "just for fun." After watching the first two meets of the year, and seeing how my son and some of the other kids have done at them, I would have to disagree with the warnings that were given to me. Yes, there are always those kids at middle school and even high school that are in it for the social factor; however, the majority of the kids that I was blessed to watch, are in it for the win, or at least to do the best that they can. Some are already keeping track of their best times, the schools best times, etc... 

However, prior to trying to become a runner myself, (I apologize in advance to any runners that I may offend) I may have jumped on the "running is not a sport" bandwagon, and my sister ran cross country and track. Now, after attempting to become a runner myself, I realize that the old saying about "walking (in this case running) a mile in someone else's shoes" definitely applies to this sport, and this sport at this level. These are middle school kids, and I'm sure we all remember "that" age. That age where your feet were 4 sizes too big for the rest of your body, when you were faced with surging hormones, bad acne, crushes and heartache, fitting in, etc...

These kids face their own type of fears every day, and when they are on the track they do not have a time-out, with a team huddle, and teammates to slap them on the shoulders and drag them out of their emotional downward spiral. Even in wrestling, which is huge in our family, the wrestlers are on the mat "alone," but the coach is right there in their corner, the teammates and fans are just feet away. On the track, the closest contact for these kids rounding turn three, is the person they are trying to beat, and that person isn't going to stand over their shoulder and say, "c'mon, you can beat me..."  When they get to that turn, and still have another 200 to 3000m to go, they have no voice to propel them forward but their own.

From my own last year of running, I have come to realize how mental this sport (and I know now that it really is a sport) really is. I may be very athletic, and running did come kind of natural once I started, even late in life, but I'm not as mentally strong as some of these middle school kids. There was one kid from our school that ran the 800 with my son. My son is quick and has placed in both meets, but the other kid was barely finishing lap one when the rest were finishing lap two. I know many many adults that would have stepped off the track right there, but this kid kept on jogging along at his own pace, and when he crossed the finish line, the team cheered him on, but on lap two at the first corner and for the next 600 m. He was all alone. So no matter if it would have taken him 2 minutes or 5 minutes to finish the race, the fact that he finished shows that he has learned one lesson of this sport already. And it's a lesson that I'll take with me next weekend at the Flying Pig, to keep going, to keep moving forward, and that no matter if I get passed by someone three times my age, that it's my race. I'm out to beat the goals I set for myself, and to do the best that I can. I would love to place in my age group someday, but being my first, I just want to finish. And in finishing, realize that I've already accomplished one goal in itself.

Here are a few pics of my son - I'm so proud of him. He cleared 8'9" - personal record for him - on the pole vault.

Countdown to the Flying Pig

I have 11 days until I will attempt my first ever half marathon... I'm literally "running out of time" in my training schedule. I'm thinking of all the workouts I didn't squeeze in, all the weights I didn't lift, the hills I didn't run, did I do enough core work? Is it like a test? Do you think you can "cram" for a 13 mile run?? I'm telling myself that I'm over thinking it all, but it doesn't help that the "nerves" and "butterflies" have set in so far ahead of the actual run.

I have to stay at a different hotel than my sister, who I'm running with (she is in charge of dragging me over the finish line in the event that I pass out, need to crawl, trip and fall and land on my face, etc...) and I'm worried about getting over the bridge (my hotel will be in Kentucky) and to the race and finding her somewhere near the starting point at 6 in the morning. I don't really want to carry my cell phone, but I want to make sure I find my motivational, strength, pacer, and support partner for this event! I also have a friend riding with me and need to find her at the finish line.

And then there's the matter of my shoes. I went 2 weeks ago to get new ones because my old ones were giving me black toe nails, this started happening after my training had led me beyond the 10 mile run mark. I figured a month to break them in would be plenty of time. However, I let the sales lady "convince" me that the Asics fit my high arches better and made me run "more neutral" than the Saucony brand that I had been wearing (with no problems other than the black toe nails, and that was only after 10 mile runs - anywhoo...). I HATED them. I returned the first pair for a second pair, different style, and still hated them. Went yesterday and exchanged them again for the Saucony ProGrid Ride 2, but I just wore them today for a 6 miler... Do I keep wearing them for the next 10 days and for the half? Or should I just play it safe with my old ones? The toe nail is already black at this point...

There are issues of "Race Etiquette," which I really know very little about since I've ran one 10k. I do know to step towards the right when someone yells "on your left." But there seems to be a whole slew of race jargon and rules that I don't know about. I need to find the book, "Running a 1/2 Marathon for Dummies"... I would buy that. Do you think they make signs that say "newbie - I apologize in advance for breaking any race rule that I claim to not be aware of" to stick on your back? I'd buy one of those, too!

Then there are the little things. Like what to wear? I need an outfit with enough pockets to hold my ipod, my sportbeans, maybe my cell phone. If it's a bit chilly I can wear my jacket and I'll be good, if it gets to warm, the jacket will be out of the question. I could unzip the sleeves of the jacket, but then the zipper rubs on my armpit and causes a great deal of discomfort. Maybe I should just buy a vest so I don't have to worry about zippers on the arms. Should I by a hat? A visor? I don't really like running with sunglasses - I sweat way too much. I'll probably pack like I'm going for a week, for one little run. Gloves, hat, pants, long-sleeved shirt and jacket in case it's chilly at 6:30 am. Shorts, tank, vest, in case it's warm. Then there will be the in-between layers. Short sleeved shirt over the tank? How many layers will I feel like stripping off? Just wear the minimum and hope it warms up quick? So many decisions... and I'm running out of time!

Time to Reflect...

So I had tears in my coffee this morning. It wasn't from the lack of sleep, getting up at 5:30 to run 10 miles, or the 10 mile run itself. They were "good" tears. The "good" kind you get from those inspirational moments that really make you stop, reflect, and think about your own life. I was reading this blog: What Have You Got to Complain About - if you have time you should definitely read and watch the video.

What do I have to complain about? I thought, prior to watching this video, that my grumblings of receiving my 60 day letter within the next 30 days, and facing my office relocating out of state, was justified. I thought whining about my sore knees after running 10 miles was justified. I thought that complaining about my son having knee problems was justified; and, I thought venting about my crazy busy life was justified as well.

However, after watching this video. I have not a single complaint about my life.

God has given me a job that gave us a full YEAR's notice that our office was moving. They didn't walk in unannounced and start handing out termination letters. And, in this state of economic upheaval, myself and my husband have had steady jobs this whole time. When I do get my 60 day letter, I also get a severance package that will allow me to be at home with the kids this summer if I choose.

God has also blessed me with athletic genes. I took up running at age 33. At age 35, I will have worked my way up to my first 1/2 marathon in just 16 days from now. The fact that I have knees that still work, legs that can run, and a body that keeps up with it all is a blessing in itself. God has also blessed us with this little brown pill called ibuprofen, and these handy little plastic baggies that hold a substance called ICE. I have no reason to complain about a little knee pain.

God has blessed me with three beautiful, smart, intelligent, athletic kids. They have all kept 4.0's, they are all athletic, they are all well-behaved, and they are all HEALTHY. Having a minor knee problem at age 13 is an inconvenience for my son who really might be doing three sports at once during any given season. But, he is capable, refer to the ibuprofen and ice in the paragraph above, of pushing through the pain. So even though this knee problem won't go away until he stops growing, at least he can continue to do the sports he loves. He also has no complaints, and even though he hardly ever mentions it (we have to force those little brown pills down his throat when he's limping around), if he was to complain. I would refer him to the video above, even though I already made them watch it this morning.

Finally, God has blessed me with a husband and family that are incredibly active. I myself take on hobbies that I probably don't have time for - just like running for 90 minutes, or my weekend scrapbook adventure this weekend, on top of 2 soccer games and a wrestling and track meet.... Yeah, life is crazy, life is hectic, but God has blessed us with time, money, friends, family, and the ability to juggle it all.

I know we've all heard it before, "Count Your Blessings," but this morning. After being monumentally inspired by this video, I have thanked God again for the Blessings in my life, and there are so many that I cannot even count them all. Have you counted your blessings today?

First 10k

I finished my first ever 10k this weekend! My sister ran the Martian Meteor 10k with me - she was my pacer. I was hoping to be under an hour for my first one and at a 9:30 pace. However, we (my sister and I) finished with a 55:50 and a 8:59 pace! I was ecstatic to hit an under 9 min pace time! We were 34th (her at 55:50.04) and 35th (me at 55:50.09) in our age group of 203 runners. It ended up being a beautiful morning for a run, it was a bit cold when we got there at 6:30 am, but was almost perfect by the time we started running. And the best part, I wasn't a bit sore, I felt really really good afterwards. Which probably just means that I should shoot for an 8:30 pace the next time.

Life Is Meant To Be Lived...

"Some people measure their lives in pulse rates and sit-ups.
Far better to measure yoursin licks of ice cream,
well-told jokes, mad dashes to be first in the water, belly laughs...

And, when you die, it won't be an erratic shift in your heartrate,
it will be an overdose of mirth, fun poisoning, death by laughter."
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Things happen so quickly in life. I just received a prayer request from my instructor, her little sister has cancer, and it sounds like it has spread rapidly. My cousins just lost their grandmother. Another friend lost his father. On the news you see all the horrors of car wrecks, killings, crimes, etc... And all of a sudden I just want to stop, take a step back...

Life is hard. Life is tough. We work at work, we work at school, we work at staying healthy - being fit and eating right, we work at teaching our kids right from wrong, and we work at making ourselves a better person. But when all of a sudden you realize that tragedy could be around the bend, work seems less important. Life should be lived, and we all have to work, but we all need to take time to work on enjoying the work that we do. Work on enjoying the two minutes that our six year old wants to ramble about pokemon; enjoy the ten minute drive home with our teenagers while you have them secluded in a vehicle and they "must" answer all questions including the too often forgotten "how was your day"; enjoy the few moments of alone time with our husband; and enjoy the beauty in the world around us that we rush past, speed through, ignore, forget and too often take for granted.

Living life means a lot of things to a lot of different people. But me, I want to live my life with no regrets. I don't want to regret not making paper airplanes instead of reading my book; and, I don't want to regret watching the sunrise and set and feeling that loss of "where did this day go?" I want to live my life before some unknown tragedy hits. I don't want to wait until time is too precious. Time is too precious now, we just need to stop and realize it more often. I want to remember the silly, precious, seemingly unimportant moments in life. I want to look back and remember laughing at nothing with the most important people in my life. I want to look back and know that I didn't waste a moment worrying about what to do next, but just took the leap to walk outside and throw a ball around, plant a tree, ride bikes, run through the sprinkler,  pick dandelions, and dance in the kitchen. Those are the briefest, yet most memorable times, and we must take advantage of them when they are given to us.

The easiest sentiment... Live, Laugh, Love. But really, really do it, with all you are go out and Live each moment, Laugh whenever you can, and Love not just your family and friends, but the world and the life that you have been blessed with.