Sportsmanship

"Good character is more to be praised than outstanding talent. Most talents are, to some extent, a gift. Good character, by contrast, is not given to us. We have to build it, piece by piece -- by thought, choice, courage, and determination."

H. Jackson Brown

My youngest son took his first 1st place medal at this past weekend's tournament, one day before he turned 5 years old! He was so excited. But for me, it was so hard to watch. I've been around wrestling for over 18 years, so it was really nothing new, other than he was so little! My oldest son was a few years older before we started taking him to tournaments, we didn't want to push him, etc... we waited until he was begging us to take him. Now, of course, Robby sees his big brother doing it and already wants to.

The week before we took him and he lost two matches. It was cute though. You could tell that he was awe struck just being on the mat, in front of all those people, and the gym noise, the whistles, the parents and coaches yelling (there are like 12 different matches going on at once - so they weren't all yelling at/for him). But then the next week, he was all of a sudden "grown up" and was wrestling! He didn't flinch at the noise, or look like my lost little baby while he was out there. He just went out, shook hands, and pinned a couple kids like there was nothing to it! I was so proud of him. At that age it's just pure joy on their faces when they win. Which, of course is the way it should be. I will have to get a picture up!

But I was thinking, while sitting in the gym full of kids from age 4 - 15, and all their parents, and grand parents, coaches, etc... Anyway, I was thinking of how good it could be, the whole experience, for the kids. The winning, the losing, the "giving it your best." I've always said Robby was my "philosopher" (he was the kid that conned me into playing with him by saying how God wants us to be nice to people, and how it's nice when we play with other people, and that's what God wants us to do - he was 3 at the time of this con job!) and at the tournament, my little philospher pointed out multiple times that "he did his best." And to say I was proud is an understatement. I was beaming with joy. He knew that he won, but he also knew how important it was that even if he hadn't won, that he had tried his best. What a lesson that is, that some adults, myself included, still have a hard time grasping.

However, as I looked around the gym, I became frustrated with some of the things that I saw. Kids throwing tantrums because they lost, kids yelling at their parents, at the refs... I can handle tears, as I am an emotional mess on a lot of issues; I've cried during the National Anthem at a many an event, and I know how winning and losing can bring a tear to one's eye. It's the cussing and unsportsmanlike conduct that I see that I can't handle. So I guess this is my two cents on sportsmanship and how I wish more parents were in it to teach their children how to win and lose. My kids don't show boat when they win, and neither do they throw tantrums when the lose. It's not just practicing and excelling at the sport of their choosing, it's practicing the art of winning and losing.

I like seeing kids that are graceful in the face of both victory and defeat, and I really hope that my kids will always excel in that area as well as in their sports. Because I am a firm believer that sports will shape their character, for better or worse, and I definitely want my kids to have their character built up by the sports they are in. If they lose, but can say that they gave it their all; they can walk away and know that they learned from the situation, then they will walk away with their head high, and that's character. And if they win, and can walk away knowing that they still gave it 100%, and they respect their opponent; and that is character.